If you find that you're focused on your loved ones' lives more than on your own life and that you're constantly trying to control them, tell them what to do and clean up their messes, you may be codependent. Read on to learn how to start focusing on your own life, how to allow others to be responsible for themselves and how to stop being codependent.
1. Step 1)
Recognize your codependent qualities and behaviors, and make a conscious decision to change.
2. Step 2)
Seek professional help. Talking to a counselor is a productive way to deal with your feelings of codependency and start the path to recovery.
3. Step 3)
Allow those you care for to be responsible for their own words and actions by not telling them what to do or how to live their lives anymore. All too often you may find yourself feeling responsible for certain friends, family members or a significant other, but this is not your job. Let go and let them take control of their own lives.
4. Step 4)
Focus on your own problems. You've spent so much time trying to manage the lives of those around you that you haven't made time to deal with your own problems, so now is the time.
5. Step 5)
Address your own needs before meeting the needs of others. You're probably used to meeting everyone else's needs first and then forgetting your own. Even though you may feel that you're being selfish, you'll be much better at helping others when you've taken care of yourself first.
6. Step 6)
Do whatever it is that you need to do to feel happy. Remedy an unhappy career or relationship situation for example, and start having fun. Let go of the responsibility you had placed on yourself to solve everyone else's problems! In this space, put something fun that you would enjoy! Start a hobby or a sport or just start walking.
Do something Good for Yourself for once!
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